Over the time ive been involved and then married my wife I have met people from all walks of life. Some are rich some are poor but mainly all are looking for a partner in life. A lot of the problems that occur between foreign and filipina relationships are due to the simple fact that foreigners are seen as rich and virtually anything is possible. Quickly to be raised onto a pillar that is easy to fall from. The first thing that you need to do is set ground rules and explain the real world. Yes you can earn X amount in the West but it also leads to the fact that the taxes and expenses are in similar order. Explaining in terms that can be related to day to day life is important. Petrol costs, electricity, gas, rent all these things are a lot higher in most western countries and you should give examples so people can really understand what a £,$ or Euro is really worth. Why is this myth such a big problem? a lot of it is to do with the fact of people when visiting going on spending sprees, yes your on holiday or your first visit but people can see money literally pouring out your pockets like no tomorrow. Most people wont even realise that you have spent 6 – 12 months saving for the trip and infact this only happens once a year. So control your spending doesnt mean you have to not spend just do it not so openly. Otherwise you will open a wallet you will later find hard to close.

Family is everything to most and this is becoming a bit of twisted truth lately. If you have time i advise looking up a film called “Caregiver” that gives it from the Filipino Overseas Workers prospective that many filipinos back in the Philippines arent really aware of. There has also been several documentaries on television lately all showing the fact that a lot of OFWs are under huge pressure from families to send money home. A lot of this is to do with custom involving the transition from child to adult where the parent looked after the child and now the child is responsible for the well being of the parents. But also times of hardship where people clubbed together to get through the days and weeks. Having an overseas relative that can put theyre kids through school is expected by many. This is why so many OFWs are working multiple jobs the majority of filipinos dont really know what hardships the people are putting up with abroad just to send money each month. Not only are they working hard to make ends meet like the rest of us but they may be supporting several families aswell.

So whats this got to do with you? Well if your lucky enough to get your visa approved for your spouse to move to your home country be aware she will be expected to send money home. You have to allow for this it may not seem normal to a Westerner but your not marrying a Western woman. Be prepared for your partner to work an extra job or to expect to work. You should allow your wife to work as not only does this give her independence and familiarity with the area she will be happier knowing she is doing her bit rather than relying on you. Back in Worcester there was a woman I worked alongside who worked a full-time day job as this was the “house money” to help with the bills on the house then each evening she worked 4 hrs making cakes at a factory this was her allowance she sent back to the Philippines. Now this is where the problems begin if you imagine she sent home £280 a month to family and a family can survive on around  £100 they were having an easy ride of things back in the Philippines. Extra money was also sent to help with repairs and renovations on the family home. But a year later she returned for a visit to find that none of the work had been completed and infact a lot of the repairs were nothing more than pure lies to get more money out of her. But the money had disappeared. This is very common and OFWs seem to be starting to change the way they do things. I know of people that only send Balikbayan boxes and no cash anymore for similar reasons. All these complications believe me will come in some form to you and your new wife if they dont im glad they havent as it spares a lot of tears,hardship and missing cash.

So what do I personally do about this scenario? Well to be honest im one for people helping themselves I wasnt born with a silver spoon in my mouth and i actually paid myself through college. So when people expect or ask for a free ride just explain there is no such thing in life. If they want something they will have to work for it like everyone else. There is always opportunities to make money in the Philippines and someones needs wont be as expensive to fill as your own so one or two well managed projects creates independence but at the same time takes pressure off your wife/girlfriend.

Culture shock is a big thing for many.. i hear people here grumble about things and i have to admit i do it sometimes. But in the Philippines you need to let off steam sometimes head off and meet with a few expats either as a social gathering or if it doesnt go well at least you know why you prefer to stay away from expats… either way its a good stress relief. Always explain things that are bothering you and ask your partner what is bothering them you wont always get an answer as many things are seen as “sibling or family issues” which really dont bother you.. but you need to explain if your wife/girlfriend is bothered then its already bothering you. Getting everything out in the open can be difficult at times but its something that must be done to create harmony not only between you and your partner but with your new family.

When you head to your home country its worth noting your wife is likely to have friends/family there already and trying to make the effort for them to meet regular or long phonecalls is good for everyone as people always miss home at some point and its good to have friends nearby that can relate to the situation.

Understanding sometimes there is no logic. There are many things that you will find over time that simply dont make any sense. But thats life. I find it daily in the Philippines I look at something and wonder why is someone doing this or that.. a prime example was yesterday when driving back from the City and we could see people swimming in the ocean near outbound pipes from the fish market waste. April said they are immune to it.. this is when we sat and chatted about the fact that the raw sewage from toilets and waste chemicals are coming out the pipes and at some point there will be people who are sick. Maybe with Cholera or something else and people will say there is an outbreak an epidemic or some other excuse when the truth is people are literally swimming in waste. It has no logic like I said sometimes you just need to accept that things sometimes just dont make any sense.

The house is normally the womens domain. Something im not used to as im a keen cook and dont mind doing housework especially if im bored. But ive heard it from a few people including my wife that she is happy to look after the house. Not sure why but maybe partly tradition and partly seen as taking care of the children and husband is normal here. An example of this was someone who had a live in girlfriend each morning before he left his house he would give his shoes  a last minute polish. Then kiss his girlfriend as he went out the door and each day she looked disappointed as he left. About a week of this went on to the point he asked what the problem was. Which is when she said its her job to make sure her partner is clean and tidy for work in the morning, him cleaning his shoes was seen by her as a failing on her part. So letting her do the shoes creates harmony. Before anyone decides to shoot me down as a sexist im more into equality but real equality. I expect a woman who wants to do the same job as me to have the same commitments and complete every part of the role exactly the same.

Either way nearly everything written above can be defined by doing one word “Communication” asking each other how the day went, how are you feeling aswell as a 100 and 1 other things each day will create harmony in your home..

December 26th, 2008 by admin in relationships | No Comments

A very common thing that is sent to the Philippines is literally thousands of boxes of goods each month from all over the world. Mainly from OFWs or people married to foreigners. Basically its a box filled with gifts from abroad. So what are the best things to fill them with from the UK and where to get the stuff?

Soaps and gels – Best place to buy these are supermarkets as every week there is always at least one brand on sale. a BOGOF (Buy One Get One Free) or a similar offer. Another good source might be a £ shop although the quality may not be as good (since a lot of that stock is bankrupt sales).

Cadburys – Chocolates are always a good gift and the best places to get these from are the Cadburys factory shops which are located in various places around the country. One is in Swindon another Birmingham your best bet to finding your nearest one is using the Cadburys site. What I normally do is buy 1 large box of Quality Street and another one of another similar kind and empty the boxes into a carrier bag. Be aware they are heavy! ive had upto 18kg of Chocolates in my luggage before.

Store brand – Things like store brand After eight mints and Turkish delight make good gifts as they are flavours not too commonly tasted in the Philippines so not only are they cheap at around £1 a box they are something that can be split into smaller quantities of mixed flavours.

Electronics – Most things in the Philippines electronics wise is overpriced and inferior quality mainly due to being surplus or second hand repairs. So sending things such as DVD players, grills etc. from somewhere like Tescos own brands (which are very cheap) will be greatly appreciated.

Mobile Phones – Every year at my parents nearly everyone gets a new free mobile phone with renewal of contracts. So what do you do with the old ones? Well generally ill mail them or bring them in my luggage as here in the Philippines even the oldest of phones has a value.

Hand Tools – Hand tools and powertools are available in two stages here generally they are cheap chinese goods or copies.. e.g. a fake dewalt drill. The point is unless you want to pay well over the top for tools best thing to do is shop around something like the bargain pages then mail the tools out. You can find some very handy equipment at rock bottom prices in the bargain pages or Loot which could be very useful to someone out in the Philippines if you have relatives who are mainly trades workers.

Whatever you send it will be greatly appreciated and people will be thankful for receiving it.

Personally I use Nettrex who have a few locations in the UK for drop off agents. Either way happy shopping and please add any other suggestions you can think of.

December 26th, 2008 by admin in Philippines | No Comments

10. An Income – Something that the family can do but be very cautious on what you invest in. Ive heard all sorts of horror stories of families falling out. Vehicles being left to run until broken aswell as other things. Main thing is use a bit of common sense and discuss what is expected in return. e.g. if you buy a relative a motorcycle to create an income make them well aware they have to maintain it very  well including topping up the oil etc.

9. Essentials – One thing I realised earlier this year is something thats more practical than expensive could be the best gift ever. The one we bought was an Electric pump that simply gets rid of the manual pumping of water which was a major change as pigs needed washing down. Reduced the workload from literally hours to less than 30 minutes a day.

8. Mr Cadburys – This is pretty much worldwide but UK Cadburys chocolates taste a lot more milky and creamy than the Malaysian counterparts that are delivered in the Philippines. Chocolates go a long way to make smiles (just try not to send too many or those smiles will be missing some teeth).

7. Smells – Perfumes, soaps and shower gels. All possessions people love and getting good quality ones in the Philippines can sometimes be difficult or expensive.

6. Laptop – A very prized possession but not only for your partner and family. But it gives you the ability to stay in touch no matter where you both are.

5. Cellphone – One of the most prized posessions of status in the Philippines is a new mobile phone. Maybe because its something thats not so obvious in public but when with friends etc. can show it off.

4. Camera – One of  the top things people love especially at this time of year is taking photos. What better than a new digital camera.

3. Balikbayan Box – Sending a box home from your home country full of gifts for all. Not only are they products that are from abroad but people appreciate you took the time to think about them.

2. Be home – Being home for Christmas is a flip between first and second place as there is no place like home for you or your partner. Being together is what really counts.

1. Visa – A visa to travel/live in your home country. But be aware these are in short supply even for Santa!

December 26th, 2008 by admin in Philippines | No Comments

Im not one for beating around the bush but simply the deal I got from E-Bookers was cheaper than the offers I had for the flight home to Cebu but also the fact that it was a better airline (Cathy Pacific) which also has a better and faster air route. On top of that the booking process was all efficient and done online. There was a query I had about my seating (Because you can choose Aisle/window) which an email had a quick response to and everything was done efficiently. Not only am I personally likely to use them again but with how quickly and efficent the service was I would advise anyone to at least give them a try and compare with another service.

December 25th, 2008 by admin in Philippines | No Comments

Someone asked me earlier this week about taking money to the Philippines. Many of the sites on the net are out of date or simply designed for the American market. The truth is if you change your money in the UK to Dollars then change it again to Pesos your going to lose twice on the exchange rates. The best way to do it is simply “pounds sterling” especially with Sterling so weak you can literally change money as you need it (as long as your not going too far from the cities as finding a money changer may become difficult). But if for example your in Cebu there are plenty of people willing to trade your money. Rustans near Banawa, The money changers near the retunda in Cebu or if you get stuck give me a buzz and ill find someone near you. There is also the reason I brought my money in with me in the first place the rates in the UK at the start of December was = P68 to £ but I could get a rate of P72 near Robinsons mall.  A big saving but also the fact that you can wait for fluctuations. Christmas is nearly over and no doubt the Peso will look a little weaker in January as remittances slow down. Either way bring your pounds! Dont get caught with excessive charges in the UK. Aswell as things like the minimum £3.00 charge at the Airports etc. Just buy a few pesos enough to get you a hotel room,dinner and cab fare. The following day you can trade..

December 25th, 2008 by admin in Philippines | No Comments

One thing that many people dont realise when moving to or retiring to the Philippines is the fact that the pace of life is a lot slower than they expect. Often things take days to do that would somewhere else take hours. Getting isolated can become easily done and more often than not people arent to aware to keep you in the loop. I have heard from several people the expat groups in CDO are better organised and more of a social gathering but im still to find out why it differs so much from Cebu. But one thing for sure is Cebu has such a mix of people here its almost impossible for them all to be in the same room nevermind socially. The majority of people here are escaping from something even if they know it or not. For me personally its always been built into my life to travel aswell as the fact im pretty much ashamed of what has happened to the UK. Politics and open markets and immigration has pretty much left the UK to its demise. But enough about that my point is if you have so many people here escaping from something how can you get them to be more social? Well what seems to happen is people are in different places with different groups although most people know of each other and the other groups existence so the best thing to do when first moving to Cebu or anywhere else in the Philippines even if your not keen to mix with other expats is just meet a few and meet a few groups. In Cebu there is football,rugby,mat bowls, Hash House Harriers and meeting places such as badgers(Bar).  For the guys that prefer to just find a haunt to hang out many are in places like the bikini bars such as lonestar or more recently people seem to be heading to Jeans Place behind Gaisano Fiesta which is a small bar ill try and get round to visiting in the next week or so to review.

But the main thing is dont get caught out with “Cheap Beer and too much time” there are a lot of expats here that drink too often and a lot of its down to nothing more than being bored. If you need a friend.. im normally around somewhere and happy to organise introducing you to some of the groups.

December 25th, 2008 by admin in Philippines | No Comments

One of my love and hate relationships i have in the Philippines is driving.. I love the independence but hate the fact that so many people drive badly but its not always the motorist. Today i was at a junction in central Cebu and there is no straight on quite simply because the road is out of use for whatever reason. So you can either go right or left. We are going right aswell as another lane. But what i couldnt believe is someone with a BMX literally from the inside of the inside lane just went straight across the road with two young kids on the bike with them. Crossing the two lanes of traffic didnt look round didnt batter an eyelid literally could have been hit and left for dead and wouldnt even have seen it coming.. that sort of thing happens daily. Aswell as the fact the more you move from the city the less people are likely to have a license. I hate wearing a helmet on my scooter so generally avoid where possible anywhere from our province outwards not an issue. But head into Cebu and your looking to get at minimum hassled for a ticket. Its a bizarre scenario and until experienced people really dont know what real traffic is, i was driving around central London this year which seems to be mainly people from abroad driving around traffic is bad and some of the driving was skipping up bus lanes and the normal inpatient push and shove that goes with any major city but all in all its nothing compared to driving in Cebu maybe its the hundreds of cameras in London now that puts people off bad driving with the slick “receive fine by mail” system we have. But getting back to my point. If your visiting Cebu on holiday i would advise against driving for many reasons. It took less than 2 days to get a dent in my multicab by just being parked how much is it going to cost you with a rental car? The chances of hitting another vehicle are very high not because your doing anything wrong but simply people weave here most of the time without indication and in the evenings your competing with traffic which the majority of vehicles are moving around with very few lights either to save on fuel or the fact they just dont work and some vehicles such as the peddle cabs which are normally a BMX with a sidecar dont have any lights at all.

If you insist on driving try and get a driver for a day and just go out and take a look at the road layouts, the traffic and get familiar its definitly not what your likely to have seen in the West. But all in all I love the place… even with the headaches of traffic because one thing ive realised is the multicab is slow, gets caught in the traffic and often has to emergency brake. But put me on my scooter im flying through the traffic weaving at every turn and getting to my destinations at least in half the time. I would never advise anyone hiring or buying a motorbike or scooter here simply due to the high death rates nearly every evening there is fatalities involving vehicle crashes. Head down the southern coastal road and out towards Argao nearly everytime we have got as far as Car Car there has been a serious crash. Not wanting to put people off just want people to get home safe.

A few pointers when driving though.. when someone is flashing theyre lights at you when your turning it doesnt mean they are letting you past it actually means they are not stopping! the complete reverse of what we have in the UK. The lines on the road mean nothing if you see what would normally have two lanes of traffic what it actually means is there is likely to be three lanes plus motorcycles weaving in and out. I sat today thinking about the best way to describe the movement of traffic and the best I could come up with is  a shoal of fish.. imagine a dense shoal weaving, turning all heading in one direction well thats it! every gap gets filled and everyones heading up or down the road. If your on one side of the road your going to have people everywhere undertaking,overtaking,slowing down, last minute stopping,stopping without indication.

There are a few what I call dangers on the road generally.. those are the buses,multicabs,taxis and SUVs. Motorcycles generally stay out the way as they know you are bigger than they are so theyre unlikely to throw up any challenges. The buses and multicabs are literally stopping and pulling away constantly so be aware one may overtake you then suddenly cut straight across in front of you to pickup a passenger. Taxis as soon as they have a passenger are in a rush.. they have a concept of if i cant see you i cant hear you. They pull out from side roads, make U turns all without looking they will force you into an emergency stop if you dont realise this as your approaching because once they start moving they arent going to stop. The SUVs generally bully drive.. they are owned by either foreigners or rich filipinos who expect to just push theyre way through most of the time. But one thing I have noticed about having a big american SUV generally most people cant park the thing and the parking spaces arent designed for them here. Maybe ill save some money up this year and go the full safety hog and get an armoured car.. either way if your coming here on a holiday if your in the cities your better off with a driver and public transport is pretty efficent anyway.. dont cause any un-needed stress! let a driver have it..

December 25th, 2008 by admin in Philippines | No Comments

Something surprised me this week due to a few things happening to a friend of mine. Someone who has done everything he could to bring his fiancee to him. He had gone through the process of helping family, visiting the Philippines and had spent a lot of time and money putting together paperwork for visas to bring his finacee across the oceans and seas to his homeland. But something thats happend in recent months if not the last year is a serious clamp down on bringing spouses into Europe. Something that puzzles me as its not an issue of literally hundreds if not thousands of illegal immigrants given a free gravy train for the rest of theyre lives if they make it across the channel between England and France. Anyway basically the visa wasnt approved and some of the money thats been built up for the appeal has been abused by relatives here in the Philippines. A huge argument happend and the fiancee disappeared. It does make me wonder how much of many of these relationships that happen are nothing more than a step up in life. Most of the western men ive met have been honest and pretty much looking for someone to complete them in life. Offering not only security but love and affection. Someone who doesnt stray and sees life as a couple. So why is it I hear so many situations like the above that worry me about what people really value in relationships. This relationship seems to have been treated more like a business deal by the woman than anything else. There is more to life than money.. thats all i can say some of the happiest people I know are some of the poorest. But the difference in happiness can be measured by someone appreciating the mercedes benz on the drive to another looking at the roses they have grown this year. The difference in price between each is huge but the happiness to the people are the same.I just wish people didnt get so caught up in the dream of the West and started appreciating what is right in front of them..

December 24th, 2008 by admin in Uncategorized | No Comments

Today we had a native turkey and April tried best to make it as a traditional Christmas as possible. We had gravy, stuffing and all the trimmings even the turkey tasted good.. but whats a Christmas in the Philippines without it being a Philippine Christmas. The thing I like about the Philippines is its not about whos got a new Playstation 3 or the latest teams strip. But the fact of being together the presents are a bonus and in most cases unexpected. The most important thing is spending time together visiting the church and just enjoying the whole concept of Christmas. Something thats been lost in the West. When people talk about Christmas on television in the UK its more to do with Retail sales target and how they compared with last years, is this really what we want Christmas to be about?

Well getting away from what the west has lost in aspects of Christmas ill get back to whats happening here in Cebu. So everyones spent the last few days at parties and celebrations parties have carried on throughout the night and at midnight the first pops, bangs and whistles appear as the fireworks are released into the air. The whole area around the house is alive with noise of rockets,bangers and jumping jacks as the celebration of Christmas day begins. Its more of what would be expected on New Years eve in the UK. The loud sound systems and DJs can be heard from neighbouring houses for the last couple of days and even now the party will continue late into the night. Not only for adults but for the children too.. Part of the Philippines culture of really knowing how to party!!

December 24th, 2008 by admin in Uncategorized | No Comments