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There is a saying “A 1000 scientists cant explain love but two people can show it”. The reason its two people is any two people can or will show love in a different way depending who the people are. It could be simply two lovers showing love and affection for each other but just as important is someone on a death bed making peace with their relation or friend before time runs out. There is no easy definition of love but the closest i would think it would be is a memory or thought of another that pulls at your heart strings either in happiness or for a time you wish they were still part of your life.

The world is full of enemies but there will always be a shortage of good friends or partners in life. You should treasure the people around you as they may not always be there and any enemies made over time reconcile, because you will never regain the time that you have been together or missed apart through disputes and you never know when the time is at an end.

I have spent a lot of my life wrapped up in work and only in the last year and a half have i awoken to the way really things should be. You entered this world with nothing and the only thing you will leave with is your memories and thoughts and even if there is not a next life and if in the future i passed away in moments of severe pain i will leave with a smile of thoughts of friends and family from around me and the happiness they bring.  Im just glad i woke up a lot younger than many others that get wrapped up on materialistic things in life, you can have a nice house, a new car and more money in the bank than you can spend. But who remembers who you once were? or even your birthdays… I once lived that life and although its seen as a dream to many to afford such the sacrifice just isnt worth it. Every now and then take thoughts on where you life is and where you want it to be.

I arrived back in Cebu earlier this month and have been here for over a week now. There was an arguement while i was away between my wife and an aunt which seems to have spiralled to a major dispute not 100% what fully went on. But the results seem to be pretty major. Normally there are plenty of happy smiles when i arrived but this time there are very few visitors and in some cases seems like being avoided. Maybe its more to do with the rental charge thats been added to the house.. But either way things dont seem normal and the lack of contact between people seems like its unlikely to get any better. Not something im used to, much rather take it outside and within 20mins everything is over and done with. This dispute is months old if being avoided over the rent seems a bit childish or if thought to be so wrong why bother doing it in the first place? Its a drop in the ocean to what was planned and it woke me up to how some members of family function only on the $ regardless of all else. I learned a valueable lesson that many other expats already have had to face. You cant always trust the people around you and many smiles turn to greed when you turn your back to long. Its something i was hoping wouldnt be part of family life here in the Philippines for me and my wife. But we seem to have the same mentality issues that most expats have to deal with at some time.

 A discussion with some expats the other day threw up a debate on helping family. Which i was one of the few that think we should at least try to help. There are several reasons for and against. There is no true right or wrong answer as many have found out over time within each family like any other in the Philippines or anywhere else in the world you know your help means something to some and others see it as a quick buck to be made. When i left school i worked for everything i got i paid for myself through college working in a nightclub and later on by being a full-time carpenter during the day and going to night college. So i know what its like to not have opportunity dropped in your lap. But this doesnt mean im a walk over. There was a house we built that would have passed to the family when we left to the new house which would have been part of redevelopment of a family compound. But after a few politics i scrapped it. The idea being that the rentals gathered from the work that would have been carried out would go 50/50 until the debt of construction was repaid.  We have a piggery near completion which although i know many would say the profit is low. But its like the guy that invented the 10p lucky bag. 10p is nothing but if you sell millions of them its suddenly a lot of money. Its more of a suppliment income which will be 50/50 every 4 months yielding a small profit. There are many other options on the cards but after a few politics who i can trust has been reduced a lot.

 Getting back to why to help. There are several reasons, main one being is ability i worked hard for what i got and have always made opportunities to make money even when there were many others failing at the same projects. If i can help now and it helps the family increase in wealth then the future is brighter for many. If things go to plan long-term the investments me and my wife will have with several businesses will mean a sustainable income within the Philippines. Everyone expect you to fail and many want you to fail most reasons are down to their personal failure or businesses going under for things out of their control. But thats just business. You cant win them all but you can stand up brush yourself off and start again.

A  discussion the other day was how we shouldnt interfere by helping local population in the Philippines and when we are not prepared to help those in the UK. Which is a bizarre scenario for me, quite simply the UK system already has built into it a socal care system that should be taking care of those needs. But mismanagement and overmanagement of funds and a severe lack of decision makers means funds get spent on the wrong projects or projects are ineffective. The reason i dont agree with adding more money into the kitty in the UK is the same reason i dont pay cash in the Philippines there are too many people wanting to make a living out of it. But i do give up luggage space for stuff i am unlikely to need in the Philippines for such things as kids clothes etc. Ok your about to say but clothes are cheap in the Philippines. Well there is cheap and then there is free. The UK has excessive of most things which is why “car boot” sales are a major thing for many people on Saturdays and Sundays. It costs me nothing to bring in clothing and give it away but its appreciated by people who need the items and that is what matters. Now if you asked me would i give them money the answer will always be no. Many problems can be connected to drug abuse either by the person or a relative so giving money you are only helping to make things worse. Scholarship schemes is something i would be willing to look at. Quite simply because once educated to a level where a student can assist their family it helps to break the cycle of poverty. Although i am a believer in putting back in what you take out and a student that moves onto a better future and career should pay back the amount originally given by taking on a new student. This in turn helps everyone as the more students that move up the economy ladder help more people and it no longer becomes a charity but more of a loan system that would be repaid to the benefit of all. Would this sort of system work, quite simply i dont know its something im interesteded in but humans are a strange species common sense doesnt always prevail.

  Only advise i can give 110% is dont give money to anything your not sure where the money goes for several reasons:-

1. Corruption is worse than you can possibly believe. Would you want to see more than 50% of your funds going into someones private bank account?

2. Not all charities are interested in the best expenditure for people. I was involved in a charity several years ago where many of the funds were set aside for “named” board members who got free lunches and fuel allowances at very expensive rates in the gamble they may be able to bring in extra money.

3. You are better to do things yourself if your going to do something. Look around for charities you can get involved in directly. Better to work with smaller groups as every penny is more transparent and you can actually see where your items and money do go.

   One thing i did realise the other day was how many opinions differ on the general population of the Philippines some even seem bitter on some subjects within the expat community which seems odd to me. There is no need to get involved in the Politics of the Philippines as you are but a guest and always will be. You cant own land, you have to extend your visa you are nothing more than someone on a long-term holiday. You have no right of vote and have no power to change things so why worry about it.

This is the guy kindly taking the blame for mismanagement and mistakes by the labour government. Which it is easy to blame a single person for mistakes except for one thing. He is only part of the problem. He has a revolt on his hands from strong labour supporters and why? Not because of the way the country is heading into the ground but for the fact that the bribes his government made to secure a future are worthless. Its ok to rob the majority of UK tax payers to pay for pay rises and increases of government workers where the core voters for this government come from. But everyone relys on the real workers of this world to pay for “civil Servants” the clue is in the title. They are servants of the state not the other way round. The wage increases that these people took and the huge investments from tax payers have shown no real improvement in any sectors, of health,services or the NHS System. Quite simply because they are white elephants. Impossible to make a profit because they are designed to be so called “free” which really means you and i stumping up huge bills so that a lot of hanger ons can sit on our shoulders.

Now the tories are looking at a landslide over the labour government but they themselves brought us a lot of these problems just before the recession in the 90s. Why? Because all our national services such as GAS, Electric and water were sold off to private enterprises who now play with our finances on a daily basis with increases above 25% annually.  The coal mines are now gone that would now be profitable. Farming is now in a quick fix after years of being robbed by europe. The point being they dont give a damn about the people on the ground as long as the free lunches and the gravy train extends until they retire. They appoint family members as aids etc. Who dont understand the meaning of work yet alone do any and then preach to us we arent doing enough..

Well for BOTH parties i would like to say that neither should be running a bath nevermind a country im fedup with paying out for these idiots and fools mistakes. People would accept green taxes if you spent the money on actually fixing the problems! but it isnt. Its spent on commitees who cost a fortune and come out with statistics that prove nothing. We know the enviroment is knackered so shut up and fix it! Heavy taxes do not fix the problem but new technology do. Something governments havent done for years. A total restructure of the country and its services are required to turn it round not taxing more because you havent got a clue what to do. All the businesses sold off by the Conservative government need bought back into the fold to bring prices down. There has to be severe cutbacks in all sectors of government including all these hanger ons and excessive amounts of management. Ive worked as a manager in control of 60 staff only having several leading hands who were upgraded workers. They still worked and hands on, which added wealth to a company. This im a manager and dont want to get my suit dirty ethic needs to go and the sub managers and extra PAs and secretarys that go with them. Companies and government offices are top heavy.

Regarding the enviroment the issues are wide and varied. Heavy taxes arent fixing the issue and this reliance on foreign countries to control our fuels is a joke and needs to stop. Heavy development and construction of nuclear plants to bring our fuel costs down is required. A removal from anything to do with europe that is costing us a fortune such as the EU Gravy train for representatives needs scrapping we have given away things for far to long and its time to take it back. I do agree there are excessive numbers of vehicles on the roads but in the same instance the national rail and bus services are very poor and mismanaged. We need to be looking at other countries who have heavily improved services and look at where we need to change things instead of just spending money and still ending up with the same problems. Encouragement and tax breaks for companies that operate on a local employment scheme to encourage people to walk to work and be within a 5mile radius of the place of work would be part of this scheme to try and reduce the quantity of cars on the roads. Manufacturing should be encouraged to develop near railways to reduce trucks on the roads and maybe load on load off schemes for trucks so goods can be shunted near to load/unload depots where its not cost effective over long distances.

There has to be a major turn in government and in some expensive decisions to be made but it will all head towards a brighter future if they government and people act now. Leave it to long and we will have to take more loans get heavily loaded with debt and unable to turn the clocks back.

The value of someone entering your life as a child cant really be measured in now and then but only in the happiness and joys that your new family member will bring. Although i havent had the joy of a father holding my daughter Zoey for the first time and hear her chuckles of laughter i see many things through Aprils eyes and the smiles that they share together. Ive been lucky with developments in the last few years that stable (almost) webcam is available. I have been lucky to be blessed with two amazing daughters. When i cant spend time with Zoey in the Philippines, i do get time to spend with my daughter Nicole in the UK. Although this isnt the greatest way to be i try to make sure my children dont do without and know that i love them and they mean the world to me. All i can advise anyone in a similar situation is love your kids and let them know they are loved and missed when they arent around or you cant be there. Kids absorb a lot of things which are difficult in life and the one thing that means the most to me is making sure kids stay kids as long as they can. The world out there isnt a great place and having a mind that can imagine things that are compacted into everyday life and a free spirit anyone should enjoy as long as possible. Because when work comes along and commitments the shape of the world changes. Zoey is amazing and watching her on cam just makes you want to pick her up and hug her even when grumpy. I see a side of my wife i adore as they spend time together and im looking forward to going home in a few days.

Family is everything to us.

The thing i love most is having a family that loves you back more than you can ever realise.

The true value of life is seen in the smiles of those around you and the joy that they bring you. I have an amazing family and no matter where i am in the world will always be missing someone. Today its April and Zoey but next week will be Nicole. You cant always have the people you love so much around you but you can always remember the happy times and miss them so that when you are together you treasure every moment.

This is just a big thank you to my family.. My girls for loving me.

Lately I have been taking stock on expenditure and incomes to try and and budget for the forthcoming year. But goal posts move constantly and im starting to realise 12hrs a day working for months on end soon tires. I took a night out over the weekend and had my first beer since January its strange how a few pints of beer effects you after not having any for a while. Was good to get a head buzz where numbers, figures and the stress of work and home life could just evaporate for a few hours. Taking stock of where we are today and where we want to be tomorrow is showing that I will be away from the Philippines for at least another 6 months after going home in August for a few weeks. A few things happend that rocked the boat and have created unexpected expenses. Nothing major but enough to replan a lot of ongoing projects. Im hoping my current contracts will carry on into the new year as this will give us the badly needed uplift of funding to keep us ahead of the game and hopefully get the expansion of land to put our goats on and complete the house, at least for the ground floor.
Its being away from home you realise how much you miss each other most. Im used to a heavy workload and complications with family but this time seems more different and I think its just the fact that I spend my time working or sleeping and thinking of home 90% of the time.
I have a daughter who will be heading for 6 months by the time I get home who I will only see for several weeks before off again. Cant be helped but doesn’t make it any easier either.

Sometimes it makes me wonder how much you can really do for people. Most of the time I generally try to function as a unit rather than an individual so setting up in the Philippines for example is not a role for one person but to be more of a group event as I want everyone to prosper as things develop. But the last 2 weeks have shown a side I didn’t expect and has scrapped several major projects. I cant go into too much detail but to say im disappointed would be an understatement.
Many times ive heard similar stories from other foreigners trying to do similar and you think no maybe its different for me. Well the odds will be stacked against you. Only advice I would give is invest minimal to find who your friends and enemies are and never invest more than your willing to lose. I found it hard to believe that friendship and trust can be traded for envy and greed so easily but it has and im just glad the investment was minor.
Normally as this is being treated as a business I would treat it as exactly that. But there is more than me involved and im stuck with a decision I don’t like but have had to make. There is an old joke that goes :- A guy in his brand new rolls Royce is trying to park in a multi storey car park and struggling to get it between pillars. As he pulls forward to line up a small battered old mini comes flying in and takes the space. The guy in the mini gets out smiles at the guy in the Rolls Royce and says “thats what you can do if your small and quick”. The guy in the Rolls Royce smiles Puts his car in reverse puts his foot to the floor and pushes the mini through the barrier and off the car park. The mini driver looked in astonishment.. The guy in the Rolls Royce gets out puffs his cigar and says “thats what you can do if you have money!!”
The driver of the Rolls Royce is the way I am in business if I taken advantage of would normally totally destroy it as I can always start again. The loss is minimal. Im not arrogant but generally you need to stand by your guns otherwise you will be walked over. This time is the first time in my life I will just walking away from it although it is more of a battle lost on both sides. Someone loses a friend someone loses a few hundred thousand peso, and there will never be trust there again.

Although the last month has begun a lot at home in Cebu. You truly find out who your friends are and who you can trust when away from home. Not all is negative infact there are more positives going on than the things that went wrong. One thing I realised before even visiting the Philippines for the first time is things aren’t going to be easy. Life is difficult in most part of the world when it comes to business and getting a break is very hard. You find out who your real friends and family are and sometimes you need to draw a line in the sand and call it a day. Where your responsibilities end and business takes its place.
But everything seems to be going well with the Piggery although its being held up a little with the current bad weather in the Philippines with Typhoons and heavy rainfall. But will be finished soon. I couldn’t say a bad thing about Aprils parents they have been great and done a lot for us in my absence. Overseeing ongoing projects and helping out. A real blessing.
The next phase is soon to begin although was hoping it was going to be another 3 months before we even began it, to allow the funds to grow. But due to issues within the family we have decided to push forward and the house will start as soon as the weather changes and is good enough for us to start. Hoping to have it liveable within 3 months. But will have to see what we can get done. As im trying to upgrade the concrete in the base and blocks to more that would be compliant within Europe.

At school we learn that you need a better education to get a better job to build a better career. But where does it lead? Some of the happiest people I know have the most simple of jobs with the least complicated lives. The media hype that encourages people that they need the latest trainers, a new car or to follow fashion just encourage sales and
purchases of things quite simply we just dont need. I left my ex-girlfriend before I met April with a bag of clothing and a few personal items. Did I miss anything left behind? Quite simply “my daughter” nothing else matters its all material items. I know many people go through a split with court cases to divide the assets with the only winner being the lawyers. Only advice I would give on this is its just not worth it, half the stuff you end up with you will no longer want. Better to just cut a deal that they keep everything and just stay out of your life as long as you have access to your kids. Everything else can be replaced but the kids are where the real wealth is. Seeing your kids grow old, being there when they need you most, graduate etc. Is priceless..

Getting back to the main reason for this article.. Point is many of us escape to the Philippines to get out of the ratrace. A lot of the time people have the misconception of the tropics full of perverts and women chasers.. Mainly by people that either havent ventured further than their countries borders or more than a 2hrs flight from their home.
But what do they generally do with their work? Clock in clock out go home and do the same routine week after week. Pay the mortgage and maybe get a few household goods or an extension on the house. But for what?? Spend an entire life building up a collection of things that arent needed and will probably end up in a land fill or argued over by siblings after death.

Truth is the people around you are the real gems of life, spend time with them and spend it wisely. A few years ago there was someone i knew who after 20years of building a company up with a friend from university got cancer.. up until then had spent most of his time in their factory for most of his working life days, nights, weekends, rarely having holidays. After finding the clock had almost run out and surviving treatment he changed his whole life. Got a manager to run his half the business and spends most of his time now enjoying golf and doing the things he should have been doing before the incident that changed his life. Ive had a few incidents of friends and family going through a lot of life changing experiences the last few years from relatives with MS, medical blunders at a hospital where a friend died on a routine operation aswell as many other calling cards.

Where am I leading too.. well simply this is your life this is it, no re-runs no rewinds your running your path and its only going in one direction. You may look at moving abroad to a retirement home etc. But it always makes me wonder when will you retire? I look at things in my life and ive done pretty well im near the top of my game, have a great wife and lovely daughters. But starting to feel the strain of the workload that comes with the high money but after this year the money wont be as important as it has been in the past.
Quite simply im content with living in a small farm out the back of Minglanila. I dont need a flash car or a big tv. Just the things in life that matter a happy family content with the simple things in life. No chasing the latest goods just building a self-sufficent
farm and popping on a plane once or twice a year to top up funds. Its not dropping off the planet but Im hoping to drop my stress levels by at least 50% and its sustainable long term. Once we have extended the farm big enough to accomodate the livestock we are hoping to have. But time will tell.. Many people have said start with a big investment and end up with a small one in the Philippines.. maybe true but its not the money i care about its creating a sustainable business. I could invest money elsewhere and live off the interest but what would I do with my time? Need to be busy but doing something I want to be doing.

For me getting out the rat race and having time for my family is the most important. I just hope you do the same.. see the world for what it is, the new car may gleam in the sun for a year or two… But your childs gleaming smile stays in your heart forever.