tropicalpenpals.com A UK - Philippines family

21.2.2008

Long shifts, hard work and a nightmare homelife (stopping at my parents), makes you reflect what you have in life and what is also missing.. I can honestly say the only thing that keeps me going these days are my daughter, my wife and our soon to be born daughter. Things are an uphill struggle right now in more way than one. I know if i close my eyes i wont wake up in time for work im so tired.. Im not compaining just searching for a direction, all the goals I have are blurred and although things arent bleak its difficult to sort a clear future. Im not being negative just feel off the track and need to find the direction to head in. Im much luckier than a lot of other people and im aware of that.. just wish things were a bit easier.. ive blisters on my feet, cuts on my ankles.. a cold and body aches all over from work.. and no time for rest.. but will plod on until something clicks..

WHO TO TRUST - 18.2.2008

Ive been back in the UK approx a month. A lot of things have changed while away..and although I expected things not to be easy I never expected things to be so bad.. Major problems with my parents and my ex partner making my life hell to see my daughter.

Ive never expected or asked for much from my parents.. being 1 of 4 and generally the outcast within the family.. my bros being a favourite of my mom and my sister my dad. So always expected to be last in line.. which has made me independant and generally hard to break. But returning to find many people that I used to call friends and those that should be my family.. doing and saying things I never expected, but to be fair most of it was done behind my back and never to my face (because i wasnt here to defend myself). The biggest problem that has always been a problem with my parents is expecting me to go back to my ex which for 11 years was mainly a nightmare in which I stayed for the sake of my daughter who is now held at rasom whenever my ex feels like it or isnt happy with a decision ive made. I wont go into great detail but things that were spread about me while I was away is the first time ive honestly felt the way I do.. im not Angry but Sad.. because its now about to cause a split in my family that I would never dreamed of doing, but im left with no choice.. I hate no one in my life.. but the time has come to say no more… no-one listens and no-one really cares.. so will just move my life on and forget my past. When my life was over with my ex my parents made my life as difficult as possible and literally hell..to try and force me to go back to my ex yet they didnt care for the reason I left in the first place theyre only concern is themselves. Anytime ive needed support in my life ive gone it alone until recently when I met my now wife April. Ive had many situations in my life where I could have been broken but the difference is there has always been just me to fix things, leaned on  by many but there was never anyone to catch my fall. Which has made my life on a different trail to most because I cant fail.. I refuse I would rather die trying than give up. Im lucky I have a wife as good as April and I love her completely. Ive lots more to write.. but im a bit blah blah due to just coming off a 12hrs shift..


TODAYS REFLECTION - 11.02.2008
Many thoughts pass through my head today.. and like a jigsaw I am starting to piece a future.. There are 2 main concerns the first being that I hate being away from my home in the Philippines but miss Nicole who is here in the Uk. The other being business and the building of our family. The things most important are being as one.. being a family but also providing for that family. The responsibility ways heavy on shoulders.. Biggest current issue is where I should be.. work rates are higher in the UK but I cant build a business here as they will primarily need to be in near my home in RP. So where to start is the big question.. The website is beginning but still months away from anything that is of use. Product sales will take a long time to develop and make profitable. The first money for our lot is now begining to be gathered as soon as I land my feet in a job which has been so dry the last few weeks due to the slow period after Xmas. Life can be an uphill struggle and I expect it to be I wont fail and I refuse to fall.. But my path is still an overgrown hillside yet to form any footsteps on the trail, all fresh and new…


The Bleak truth - 11.02.2008

After my first couple of weeks in the UK i realise what sets the Philippines apart. Although many things are similar or the same in both countries there are certain factors that make me wonder what it is to be British these days. Watching on Tv a bishop agreeing with views on a medieval muslim law. The fire Brigade constantly under ambush attacks my teenagers, the most annoying fact the government fudged the figures to hide them. Tonight I sat and watched a program with “Ross Kemp in Afghanistan". Watching programs like these show how are soldiers seem very disadvantaged and left in a war that cant be won without a large increase in men on the ground. Its ok firing a missle or dropping a bomb. But the areas need to be secured not advance and retreat. The Taliban still hold the ground just lose a few numbers and they are quickly replaced from Pakistan. People are losing theyre lifes while NATO have troops that choose to avoid any conflict I hold my hat to France and Germany that seem to operate on Token Gestures yet will expect the assistance if things go wrong. Im proud of the troops serving theyre country out in Afghanistan and Iraq and just wish the politicians in power grew a spine and gave them the support they need instead of counting votes. As to down sizing the military its great having technology but the M.O.D. cant supply the basics.. so stop saying we are doing this and that.. and stop making excuses the truth is budgets are being cut and its putting peoples lives at risk. The truth also is that much of the equipment is outdated or missing where did it all go??? No doubt a few senior officers made a quick buck by selling theyre troops out somewhere down the line. Try prosecuting them instead of the old school network that leads to “early retirements” and the buck being passed to a Junior rank who will no doubt do the prison service.. while the officers keep theyre military pension and enjoy the fruits..

Many people may think I talk to much about politics and things that are wrong. But to be honest its not me talking to much its you not talking enough to change the UK to what it once was. We are sold out by europe, we are influxed with illegals and non-productive immigrants (no im not generalising im well aware that a lot of people are productive and work hard. But the fact remains there are so many people now in the UK that may have never even worked in theyre life time since they arrived from such places as Somalia etc.) Yet they need more medical assistance and generally are heavily involved in criminal activities. Im ashamed of what my country has become from what it once was. Not only that but the fact that it seems to get closer to the gutter each day without anything being proactively done. Politicians need replacing the ones presently in power are quite simply just sitting on a gravy train letting nothing change except the constanst insistance on tax this tax that.. fine this fine that.. but what happens with the money is it solving the problems that theyve took the money from?? Simple answer no!!

my sweet my love - 11.2.2008

Another day from far away i see my wife and wish i was there each day, her smile, her thoughts, her beautiful ways.. I thank god shes mine and i love her in everyway. Finding work is slow and the days seem long.. but my wife is there to keep me warm. The one thing in life thats true.. is the way she loves me and the way I love her too.

Soon I will be home once the months have passed.. to see our baby and to see how Kik laughs.. to see my wife and how proud she is for our baby to see.. and to know im a father.. glad and happy.



Welcome back to Britain - 2.2.2008

Welcome back to britain on a cold and rainy day.. but dont worry about the rain because the snow is on the way..

The car you left behind that day before you left the Isle you forgot to pay the tax and now its part of a pile..

The fuel has shot through the roof and shows that nothing is free but your always welcome here because its you and your cash we need..

There may be no sun this summer due to global warming.. but for everyday your here you need british gas to keep you warming.. not another tax but a price hike dawning on the price hike they had before you went away, but its fine you missed that one because we have plenty on the way..

Thank labour for making this land so poor taxing all the workers to help pay for the poor.. but there is a little problem within this very thought.. now im taxed so much surely i am poor?



Why the Philippines is my home 2.2.2008
Some of you may wonder why Philippines has become my home but its for many reasons…

When the plane first came into the Philippines and began to lower as it got close to Cebu for landing looking out the window all I could see was a beautiful place that I want to be. But that isnt what made me want to live there. But its a strange feeling as you leave the plane and head up towards immigration its shouting your Home!

But the secret to paradise is not staying 2 weeks its staying longer after 2 weeks you may forget the Philippines after heading back for work due to a few months later things are just a memory due to being preoccupied with bills, work etc. There are many that would say “the Philippines is corrupt and dangerous". But my answer to that is look at what has happend to the UK fuel prices sky rocket Gas,electric prices increase there is no sign of an end to the increases and the government doesnt seem to do anything about the problem. Makes me wonder where theyre shareholding investments are. The corruption in the Philippines is through the country I admit but in the UK the government tax “working” people to death to accomodate those that dont and the “social” service pensions are protected to keep theyre voters happy so who is corrupt?? The none working immigrants that destroy the NHS system and are overflowing the british prisons (over 60% not being british born and bred) but also these people vote labour.. Its a spiraling back road where the UK is falling off the map things are getting more expensive but less and less is done to put things right. Makes me wonder how much Tony Blair took in his back pocket from Bush. Its strange we are fighting wars so called “war on terror” but whats it to do with Oil and what is the Bush family and theyre criminal associates involved with? So my answer is this…

The corruption in the Philippines.. “Its cheaper!!”

Dangerous ? “Have you seen the crime figures in the UK?” which is not including the hidden or fudged information murders and gang killings dont hit the press much but head to an A+E on a friday or saturday night in a major city and count the gun and stab wounds.

Increasing costs “they will always be cheaper because we dont need heating we dont need a car because i wont work 60 miles away like the UK".

but finally its people.. not only my wife and family because I couldnt have better in laws they are all very nice and loving but even the man on the street. I cant go out more than an hour without hearing a “Hey Joe” or “Kano” in the background but always smiles.. I was in Malaysia on route to London stopped to talk to my wife on the net and all i could hear was some babbling old retire complaining that he wanted on the net and how selfish everyone was for not making way for him. A british retire.. first person ive heard complain in months and its some silly impatient old English guy. Then as I was sorting my passport for immigration a woman was swearing about some official yet another English woman.. these sort of people are not only the reason I dont want to be in the UK but also the reason we get so much bad press. Anyone whos suffering with stress or just wanting a holiday would strongly advise take a trip to the Philippines!! you wont regret it.. It changed my life for the better. The one thing I find funny is my mix of language with Cebuano,Kano english and english as i try to remember words I havent used for a while. What has happend to the UK that so many people are leaving as soon as they can? I wish all the people well in Britain and have nothing against anyone personally I havent been happy here for years as I watched things deteriate Im proud of my heritage which is probably why it annoys me so much on how its been sold out by the UK government.



Thoughts and flights 1.02.2008
Im sat on a plane on route to London..

Many Years ago I took an infill job while waiting for something better to come along a guy started the same day as me and we became friends. Although I forget his name I remember the time we chatted while having lunch and understand now what he was going through. I couldnt understand why this educated guy was in a dead end job but today it all became clear. He was unshaven looked tired and wearing a chequed blue shirt. At the lunch we discussed his wife who was in Thai land and he had spent 2 years so far trying to sort visas and was still going through the process yet again after a refusal. He hopped to Thailand when he could to see his wife and this is why he was in this dead end job, it was a hop. A job not lasting more than several months before going back to Thailand so he could be with his wife. He was so tired and worn out due to the stress and worry of the paperwork process and due to missing his wife so much. At that time there was no Yahoo or Msn only expensive telephone calls, letters and emails if you were lucky enough to have dial up internet. Where he is now I dont know.. I hope he is sat somewhere with his wife and kids taking things easy, he had worked so hard for what he wanted in life. But while sat in this 747 with the lights dimmed and my pen writing this in my diary I flick to the photos my wife has put in my diary and know every minute apart is a minute too much.Everything I have with me defines us from my very thoughts to my wedding ring. In the Philippines i would remove my ring due to it getting so hot went I slept. But now it wont leave my finger for 2 reasons the main one being I want to always feel close to my wife and the other being that we are almost ready to land in London and the air is cooler and looking out the window at 6am its telling me its going to be a cold lonely few months.. I worry about my wife being so far from me with Kik due so soon… but I just hope she knows that I may not be there in person but im never far from her side and my thoughts of our child and my wife April are always in my mind.

The scammers in the Philippines is something that really annoys me because although I understand why some of them do it. Most couldnt care less about the damage they are doing for the real Filipinas and also the hurt they cause. Most of the guys ive met from the Expat community arent only nice people but helpful. The one thing you will also find is most have been scammed at some point. Some of us for $1000s! your thinking no this could never happen to me, right?

The girl your talking with seems genuine and she loves you but what is really going on…

There is the chance of some of the following going on..

She talks to multiple guys.
a relative is sick and she cant afford the medicine who is coming to the rescue?
About to be evicted for none payment of rent.. whos going to pay?
Internet is about to be cutoff.. another bill to pay?
Computer is broke can you send money to get it fixed..?

The list goes on and although $100 here and $100 there doesnt sound a lot it adds up and the worst case scenarios it adds up with multiple guys being scammed regular. Not only is it the money thats a problem its the false belief that you have a woman that loves you and when you finally agree to meet and fly out to see her… she wont be there at the airport and a good chance you will never see her. Leaving you feeling a bit lost, out of pocket and a ripped out heart.

Best option all round is NEVER SEND MONEY!! always make excuses if she loves you she will find a way to survive, get online etc. Dont get blind to a person you have never met you dont owe this person a thing in life and to expect or ask you for money should start ringing bells straight away. Filipinas generally would never do this..

Now before you start to get disheartened there are more than a fair share of genuine women out there that are loyal, loving and looking for a guy who will love and treat her well. All im saying is be very aware of things around you and if you ever need any help please just get in contact. This is an area I want to help guys from being ripped off but to also help genuine Filipinas.

Many people when they first meet are not only nervous but not quite sure what to expect.
I can give you a run down on what to expect, as you get close to landing the first thing you notice is how green the land is and how much Ocean there is. This is where I instantly fell in love with the Islands and couldnt wait to get off the plane.

Before now you will have recieved a piece of paper from the aircrew this is a simple short entry visa which should only take a couple of minutes to complete. Always a good idea to know where you are going as it asks for it on the form. Although I have put hotel names without addresses before and it has never been questioned.

As you depart its always worth getting off asap to quite simply jump the queue at immigration that sometimes takes 30 - 40mins but time it right and your through before most people have got theyre overhead luggage. Its all formality just be nice and dont do anything you shouldnt be doing. Also worth noting if you are questioned about any items to do with luggage please remind the officer “you will be taking it when you leave the Philippines".

Your now on route towards the automatic doors at the front of Cebu Airport after you collecetd your luggage. If you have no Piso change a little at the airport although the rates arent great. Doors open.. and chaos begins! First thing you will find is people asking if you want a cab.. and a woman who will happily find you a cab (who adds a charge for this service!). The other side of the road is full of people waiting for relatives to arrive. Ok get your bearings here.. ignore everyone around you and cross the road.
Through the piles of people and up the ramp towards the departure lounges and pick your taxi from there. What you will need to do is have an idea of where you are going if meeting a girlfriend for the first time and she cant meet you at the airport arrange to meet at Ayala or SM Mall because if she is running late you can still wander around the stores. Also there are booths that will take your luggage while you shop.
Advise if doing this to remember your bearings because the Malls are pretty big and you could take a while to find your bags! I dont have to explain a mall but generally everyone speaks english and are very used to foreign visitors infact your likely to bump into some there are that many there. Food wise there is plenty to choose from and most things are available for purchase. When you get in your taxi make sure the meter is running if the driver suspects you of being a newbie in Cebu he may go without the meter and youll end up paying double the normal rate. If the Meter is off tell the driver “Metro na lang” (Basically means meter only). Bearing in mind its illegal to ride without a meter you aswell as the driver could be fined. So if the meter is off and the driver refuses to put it on just get another cab. Another phrase you may find useful is “Lugar Lan” which means Pull over. Most drivers will pick up locations in your conversation so dont worry to much.SM and Ayala everyone knows.

I wont give to much advice on money to carry with you etc. Because it all depends on your budget and where you are looking to stay. But generally everything is paid for in cash with most businesses and with corruption levels so high I would be weary of using a Visa unless you are sure its insured 100% Banking can be a very slow process and withdrawals are limited. There are a few major banks in town such as HSBC which has easy access to cashpoints. IN THE CITY. But the easiest way to send money although not the cheapest is to setup a few Western union transfers from the U.S. With a relative or friend basically stand there and get them to send your money for you. Then when you arrive you will have some money on you and a few Western union numbers that you can collect your money off. Because Western union is everywhere and gives you access to your money without the hassle of going into the City and sourcing a bank.

Meeting your girlfriend/future wife I wont offer advice as its an area you need to resolve yourself.

The Poverty in the Philippines is everywhere and will be at every corner of a building when you arrive so be warned. What I generally do is carry sweets and give them to the street kids strongly advise never to give money because drug habits by themselves or relatives is likely where your money will go. But if you feel particulary bad about someone then buy them dinner its cheap and you can make sure they get it.

Some does and donts..

Dont wear Jewellery you will draw unwanted attention.
Dont carry anything you cant afford to lose.. leave it at home!
If you are confronted by a robber let them take the items your are literally taking your life in your hands.
Dont go on about how bad things are and how much things are better in your own country.. because everyone is already aware of it they dont need it pointing out.
If you get a vehicle while in Cebu try to hire one with a driver its cheap and if there is any incidents its not your problem (may sound like the wrong attitude but you really dont need to be a foreigner involved in an accident because it will be your fault regardless of what happens).

Whatever location you meet your Other half for the first time you will find she will arrive with an Aunt/sister both or other relative or relatives. Dont worry its normal! If you meet an aunt with your better half then you want to be very nice generally everyone is nice and are really happy to see you, especially because you have travelled 1000s of miles just to meet your future partner. You will be well taken care of and made to feel part of the family.

Hotel wise your other half can arrange this for you on your behalf as she is likely to get a good deal and also know the best hotels in the area for you to stay.

But if you sort this yourself unless your going in peak season sort it when you arrive as you may decide to move round to different areas of the islands so avoid booking in for 2 weeks in one place etc. Book a couple of days while you look around to decide what your doing. Besides hotels there are also Bedspacer or Pension houses these options are a lot cheaper than a hotel but paying $30 for a nice hotel room doesnt break the bank either depending how long your staying.

Do long distance relationships work?
The simple answer is they CAN doesnt mean its an easy road and certainly not suitable for many. Most people I have come across since I began dating my now wife have had mine fields of things go wrong and right. Ask them would they do it again to get the woman they love the answer will always be the same. But after talking with some Filipino women I know you begin to understand how hard things can be.

When you here about a guy crying on the eve of leaving his girlfriend behind in a foreign country as he heads back to his country of work things become more obvious. The love many find in the woman from the Philippines and other parts of asia are the women they have spent a life time seeking where morals, family loyalty and respect that hasnt been changed by western influences. Many people will say these women are seeking passports and wallets for which I can agree with some but not all. My wife for example lives in the Philippines and we have no interest in moving to the UK. Im not a rich man and never have been. BUT I can say all women are looking for security not only financial but a one woman man. Many have been cheated in the past and believe that a western guy is less likely to cheat. Which may sound bizarre but many are like me they have found a woman they are content with and no longer need to seek another and may have even changed some peoples view of women.

Getting back to the can it work the answer is Yes but there is a lot of heartache involved and a lot of being apart which makes things very difficult at times. Also due to the internet and its ways there have been many cottage scamming industries appearing in the East and the Philippines as many other countries suffers with these. Strong advice NEVER send any money. The problems were there before you came along leave them alone.. many will be pure lies from some of the women you will meet and some will be true. The differences between the two can be so suttle you may not notice the difference between a loyal loving woman needing help and a thief and con artist. My advise on this will always be if its so urgent go and see for yourself take 2 weeks off work, perfect reason to visit. If its all fake then youll know within no time and save a lot of heartache and worry and if genuine you will get to meet in person. The fact being most Asian women will not ask for money out of pride and it “not being the right thing".

How to spot a scammer you can buy my E-book for $10.00 and its likely to save you at least $1000 there are many traits hidden within conversations and they are not all straight for the cash many will work months on building your trust before they start harvesting theyre work with sick relatives needing medicine etc.

The positive side being many people I have delt with or met have been scammed in various forms but they have also met theyre match with another women, so dont think everyone is out to rob you because they arent. But there are many horror stories purely down to the simple maths. If you meet a geniune woman she may be talking to you and a couple of other guys until you know each other better and things become more progressive. A scammer can be talking to many guys, which is why the horror stories seem to show up more and also the fact most people are happily married.. when did you last read a newspaper story saying “hey everyones happy and nothing really happened lately?” simple answer no one cares about what good things are happening it doesnt make the news.

The dating game it takes many months to meet someone and build up the confidence and thoughts that I really want to meet this person. But it can be well worth the visit and wait and in my case im living proof. My experiences are mainly related to the Philippines so dont expect me to have all the answers. But one thing I will say is be patient your girlfriend is in a country that suffers with powercuts, telephones down and water that is on and off daily. So if you dont hear from her for a few days could be quite simply there is no electricity. Which has happend to myself on a few occassions same with mobile phone networks. Terrorism still exists here and one of the things blown up regular are Global communication towers (mobile phone masts). Your girlfriends life will be pretty harsh to come to as a reality and understanding what is what will take a bit of time. I was suprised when I got to the Philippines although not an OMG situation it was something I will remember. Not all things will be large enough to make a fuss but lots of little things such as having a large water container that you fill each time water is available so you can Pot wash because there is no running water for the shower when you get home at night. The culture shocks will be pretty big if youve lived in a part of the world where everything runs efficent and there is little poverty or crime.

Dating I would strongly advise visiting after you have known a bit about each other also if you have any doubts about things make sure your 100% about things before committing to anything serious. You are dealing with a country that has a lot of poor over 70% of the population and although your girlfriend may be wonderful she may have members of family creating pressure on her because “YOU” yes YOU are a millionaire. anyone earning more than around $20,000 or £10,000 makes you a millionaire and that amount goes a long way in the Philippines so be warned your new found love maybe the best thing since sliced bread but there are many who are willing to part a fool from his money.

The relationship can work and will work as long as you “both” are sure you can make it work there is a lot of deception which breeds from poverty and also the fact you being so rich that you can afford to lose it. Sound like a bad answer?? then your in the wrong mental state for long-term relationship. The problems in the Philippines arent yours you may be able to help in some ways but in many you will come out worse off. I have many examples and experiences I have come over which include helping members of family which then meant the guy was expected to help all members of family purely because theyre related. Other things included another person buying a motorcycle for a relation to run a small business and they ran the bike into the ground not even buying oil for it. Then expected the guy to repair the bike for them. My strongest advice dont get involved unless your prepared for the headaches that could follow. Dont give anything if your expecting anything back (many loans are seen as gifts and never even expected to be repaid). If you can get round this and you will get the support of your your girlfriend soon to be wife then your on to a happier and more fufilling life.

Ive been in the UK since the end of January and realised that the world here is not the same as the one I left only months before. There is a serious under current of hate stirring up and generally people would have thought in the past of Racism. But its not its purely directed at the Government for letting things fall apart so quickly. Im no expert but there is some major problems which seem to be totally ignored by the government. Schools and medical services are overrun. Crime rates are sky high and rocketing and Government sit there doing nothing. Makes me wonder why. But the truth is all I can see is a country selling out its Population for personal gain. Things may not seem as clear as day right now. But Tony Blair who is looking for that first European President position how can you secure such a job?? Unless you can get support of other countries.. maybe a lot of Ex-Eastern block ones maybe?
Truth is as a British Citizen Born and bred I and my fellow country people deserve better. If the country gets to the stage of civil war I hope every MP that has made this mess get what they deserve. You are in a
Position of responsibility not a position of self gain. I didnt vote for labour like many others but the fact that most people didnt vote is a major problem but the truth is no-one has any faith in the politicians they are all as corrupt and self obsessed as each other. Someone get me someone we can believe in PLEASE!!

Either way the damage done with the present government which involves leaving troops stranded for years in Iraq and Afghanistan and no clear strategy to exit is beyond me. But then to sell its population to europe well all I can say the tax increases these idiots are creating here will only end up with either the civil war breaking out or more likely the same as the government of the past with the “brain Drain”
Similar to what happens in the Philippines with its medical staff seeking higher salaries. This is happening in the UK and increasing yearly.. why does it effect the country so much??
Simply because you cant fill he void of experience. Yes you can create new recruits but that is something else that no-longer exists in the UK there is no Apprenticeships and there is no backing for school leavers. I would advise anyone these days in the UK to look at the bigger picture and where they want to be in the future. For me its the Philippines with my wife and children. But there I will begin retraining and studying to generate extra incomes by working overseas at least 3 months of each year.
You may think i sound a bit argumentative or negative but its the opposite. I just wish there was something I could do to fix this UK problem but the elections are too far away and there is no opposition worth putting an X in the box. We are SOLD OUT whoever takes power because change means decisions and no politician will risk being unpopular. There is talk about the new budget not being hard enough.. the problem is nothing to do with budgets its to do with immigration and asylum. 800,000 Polish
people arrived in the UK in under 12 months thats just crazy and doesnt include all the other Eastern Europeans with free rights of access. I know Tony Blairs answer to this previously was that we could work in Poland etc..But what the village idiot either doesnt understand or doesnt care about is its a salary of less than £300 a month there!! With the Brain Drain starting again in the UK the high level jobs worldwide will be taken by Expats who are distancing themselves from the UK and the way its become.
I am more proud to be part of the Philippines than being British all I feel from the UK is sold out and
betrayed and every person ive spoken to since my arrival feels the same.